under.

so i'm under re-construction. it's nothing new i guess.
thinking and surrendering. i relinquish in the ever changing day. not only seeking but absorbing what i can. improperly moving through in an unconventional way. i used to be creative once. one thing i've learned so far today is what is good and what is bad. we should relish in our falls, the same as our joys. the wind seems to continuously blow and i just want peace. if only you could see inside my mind, then you would know. there is a disconnection that so rudely interupts when it comes out. no word enough to descibe the diciplined chaos roaming around up there, but it is demanded of and must slowly come out in the dumbified version of words. this constructed formal sense of education i have missed, and not, at the same time. the strain leave no trace of grace. collectivly programed to export what is wanted. what is? its okay to be up, and its okay to be down. i think i am up? once again i am solely underconstruction.